The MadOne

I'll start by introducing the MadOne.
For a couple of reasons a) she inspired me to get blogging, b) she provides such good material!

The MadOne is a primary school teacher, who, oddly enough, doesn't actually like children. I've worked with many teachers over the past 4 or 5 years, and almost all of them like kids.

Not the MadOne. She can kind of pretend enough to usually pull it off once they're walking, talking and are toilet trained. She's a somewhat reluctant but amazingly enough very good stepmother to a teen girl who's an angel:

Giraffe (talk, longlegged, botoomless tummied teen girl): Is it ok if I go outside and read a book?
MadOne: YES! Shouldn't you be smoking drugs or something?

- which she only says to get the requisite eye rolling & accompanying blush... really the Giraffe is an endangered species of teen who hasn't worked out that rebellion is climbing out the window at 3am, not pinching MadOne's trashy women's mags to read on the hammock out back.

Initially, when it became apparent that I would be sharing a workspace with the MadOne, I wondered how long it would take before I would need to drown her. She started to grow on my like fungus, and then the day came when it was evident we were Meant to Be! Friends for life. BFF. All that crap.

Now, to set the scene:

I'm heavily pregnant with my 2nd child, and it has just dawned on my husband that I expect him to want to witness his firstborn entering the world, at about the same time he realises I think he wants to be down the business end, where he has no intention of being, and he spirals off into a panic:

"No NO! I have to hold your hand, a kiss your forehead, and stuff! WHY DO I HAVE TO GO TO THE ICKY END???!!!"

So, the next day at work, being the good little (female) psychologist that I am, I need top talk about this to my workmates, and, well, anyone who'll listen really. I'm quite taken about that he has no intention of going DownThere.

"Don't you think he'll want to see his baby being born?

MadOne: "Don't worry, he will, when the time comes"
Cid: "Really, you think so?"
MadOne: "I don't know! It Just SOUNDED SUPPORTIVE"

See? Meant to Be.